Fatty Fatty Boom-a-Latty

Almost There. thisclose

2011-05-04T18:09:00.001-07:00

I've been hovering at 210 for over a month. A month! Sheesh.

So, lo and behold, even after all the Easter-candy-shove-in-face-fest two weekends ago, I'm down to 205.6.

ALMOST
to the hundreds: 199 and I'll be throwing a party and eating cake.

Yup. Cake.

2011-03-25T17:21:00.000-07:00

Have I disclosed my weight before?

I don't think I have.

But I will.

I'm down to 209.4 lbs. Still a fattie, but less of one!

My goal is 175, give or take.

I'm hoping to be there by June. I'm sure I will be close at that point but not there because I just can't seem to give up sweets. I'm okay with that! I work out 3-5 times a week and workout hard, so....yeah.

Anyways, 209 is a big hoo-rah for me! I can't wait until I'm under 200 :)

The Odds were Against Me

2011-03-03T11:05:00.000-08:00

Today I woke up with a sore throat and a headache and NO desire to go workout.

Even as I drove to the fitness center I was contemplating a U-turn, mentally and literally.

But then things just fell into place.

-I got the best parking spot/meter that gives you 30min for a quarter instead of 15min. The only one in the whole lot.
-Within two minutes of me getting on a treadmill, "my" treadmill opened up.
-I had an hour left of The Biggest Loser loaded on my ipod to watch.

So, the workout that almost wasn't, was.

In fact, it was 3.3 miles.

Sixty minutes.

And then I tossed in some weight-lifting for good measure. Hey, the Biggest Loser was about to reveal the recently voted-off contestant and how he/she looks today. That's the whole reason to watch, right?

So, world=1, me=0.

But I'll take those any day.

Whoa to the Holiday Foods

2010-12-30T12:04:00.000-08:00

Time to put a kabosh on holiday food binges. So many treats, so little time.

Over Thanksgiving I gained 2 lbs back because of the damn pecan and french silk pie.
{But oh man alive, they were so so sooo good!}

I have been eating crappily/happily for the last few weeks and working out has been sporadic at best. BUT. BUTT. My butt is smaller.

I'm only 5 lbs away from my wedding weight.

Didn't I say I wanted to be there for Christmas/New Year's? BOOM, BABY!

Goal: Update

2010-11-16T10:45:00.000-08:00

So for the last week or three I've been hovering over the same weight. All within 3-5 pounds. Finally I'm seeing a little movement!

I'm now around Ryan's weight, and possibly a few lbs lower. Yippee skippee!

Can I lose another 20 lbs by year's end? Crossing my fingers and lacing my tennis shoes!

It's a Halloween Miracle!

2010-10-30T11:17:00.000-07:00

I haven't had a single piece of chocolate candy this Halloween season. It just hasn't sounded good to me. I don't think it was really a conscious decision (in fact, I know it wasn't because I've made up for it by eating brownies), but it's weird for me to think that I haven't had candy yet. I'll eat some tomorrow, I'm sure.

But the real Halloween miracle is that my sausage fingers are a bit less sausage-y now. For the past 3 years I haven't been able to get my wedding ring over my knuckle because of the puffiness I added to the hand area.

Well, no MORE! With a bit of coaxing, I can get my ring off! Now, really, it's not like I've been dying to have the symbolic hunk of metal off my finger, but it's been really tight and just knowing it doesn't come off is a bit scary. Especially because it's not gold (which can be easily cut off in a pinch), but platinum...much tougher to saw through if some freak emergency would warrant it.

But what I'm most excited about having it able to be so easily taken off is that I can get it cleaned and refinished! It's about time! I haven't had it refinished since right before our wedding (we were engaged for 7 months and it got dinged up a bit) and the satin side is no longer satin and the shiny part is no longer shiny. Just a dull finish.

Question is...do I send it off in the mail now or wait until next time we're in Utah?

Time for a call to our jeweler.

Sixty-Four Pounds to Goal

2010-10-27T09:34:00.000-07:00

The last few weeks I haven't been successful with weight loss. I've been eating crappy foods and justifying it because I've worked out. What a waste!

Yesterday, I did 35 minutes of cardio. Not sitting-down-riding-a-bike cardio, but on an actual treadmill. And I actually ran! Mostly it was run one minute, walk 3-4 ish, but I'm so proud of myself for not skimping on the time.

I have a lot to go, but the scale I have is awesome. It lets me input my height and starting weight, gives me my BMI, and asks me what my goal weight is. Then each time I weigh it gives me an update on my stats.

So, 45.4 lbs lost.
That means I have 64.xx to go.

Maybe I need to adjust my timeline to my birthday {February} because 64 lbs by Christmas is a bit silly! It would be 32 lbs each month. Yikes! I mean, I could probably do it, but I need to restructure my eating.

Chelsea = 1, Gym = 0

2010-10-20T16:32:00.000-07:00

Or is that supposed to be the opposite way around.

I got up and got dressed today to go lift weights or do cardio or both. I took one of my morning prescriptions and started sipping on a protein drink on the way there and whatdoyouknow, I started feeling queasy.

But I drove there anyway.

Almost there.

I got to the point where I could make a left turn to the fitness center or go straight to the store.

I went straight. I needed new tires on my car and today seemed to be a good day {since I have been feeling crappy, of course}.

$200 later and I have a car that drives like a cloud {I bet that would be really fun...like in Mario Bros. where you can kill the koopa and take their cloud} and a still-upset stomach.

I am supposed to take 3 of these a day and I've taken them before without issue but now they're making me sick to my stomach. Two down, one to go. For today. If I don't puke, that is.

Maybe I should talk to my gyno and have her give me a smaller dose.

Since I didn't go to the fitness center, I'm forcing myself to finish painting my room today. Lots of crouching, bending, stretching, fumes, arm reaches, etc.

All baseboards and trim are done. One wall down. It's going to be a long night. And I feel like poo.

Thirty-five Minutes

2010-10-18T10:25:00.000-07:00

That was my workout time today. Well, can I include the 5 minutes I did of stretching? I'm going to say 'yes' so I did FORTY minutes today.

Go me.

Another stationary bike. It was killer. I didn't go as fast as I did the other day, but I went longer. Total miles was 7.5...which for some people isn't very much, I realize this, but for me, it's a great start.

I burned 250cals according to the stupid machine (which I KNOW isn't accurate because they didn't ask me to input my weight or height or anything) so at least I burned off my protein shake (160cals, 30g protein, 5g fat, 5g carbs).

Tomorrow is a new day. Maybe I'll try the elliptical.

{Fitness Center = Awesome}

2010-10-17T20:04:00.000-07:00

The KU Fitness Center is freaking amazing. I knew it was going to be great when I first used it; new machines, clean machines, quiet environment, neutral paint colors on the wall.

What I didn't know was how much better the machines are than those I am used to using.

For example, on Thursday I went with my iPod half charged and I was worried it'd run out of juice. I decided to get my sweat on and do cardio before working on weight training. So I sat on a stationary bike for 25min (6miles!) and lo and behold! an iPod hookup! Not only did it sync to the touch screen I used to program my workout, but it CHARGED the thing, too! I plugged in my headphones directly to the machine, used the touch screen to control my playlist and I was offfffff.

I biked over imaginary hills and felt the sweat drip as I reached the peak of a city street before the quick ride down and my cool down.

It was a great workout.

I've been 4 times now (every other day-ish) and I can't wait until tomorrow morning.

I've been 'stretching' my muscles at home, too. {I'm painting my sewing room and baseboards and trim have been first}.

I'm down 2 lbs. depending on when I weigh myself!

Thirty Pounds from My Wedding Weight

2010-10-06T08:46:00.000-07:00

I've lost some weight recently and realized it's time to start working out.

This week I asked The Huz to get his student ID so I could get a spouse pass for the Fitness Center on campus. It's $21/mo for a spouse pass. More than I used to pay at Gold's, but SO much cheaper than the only other fitness center in town ($50/mo) and SO much nicer!

Today was my first workout. I didn't want to bother with aerobic exercise because I can do that walking around the neighborhood (which I have been doing: 30-45 min walk every other day with the pooch. I don't time it, just walk until I'm tired and then head for home) so I used the time to lift weights.

It felt GREAT! I can't believe how much I missed it. Sure, my legs were wobbly and I was concerned of them buckling under the weight of the rest of my self, but a mere 25 minutes later and the endorphins rushing through me....ahhh. Wonderful!

I have 30lbs until I'm down to my wedding weight. Nine pounds til I match The Huz. Fifty pounds to be where I was when The Huz and I started dating. Seventy-five pounds til goal.

I'm hoping to be down to wedding weight by Thanksgiving and dating weight by New Year's Day.

Tomorrow I'll work on arms.

Update

2009-06-09T09:07:00.000-07:00

So...last time I blogged it was when I was pumped from getting back from the gym and excited to be on a routine.

I'm off the routine.

I've been working a lot of overtime lately and by the time I'm done with that, I have no desire to go to the gym. I've considered getting up at 5 and going but I am having issues with 6:30 right now. On the bright side, I've cut out fast food completely except when traveling. I've lost 3 pounds that way. Every day I keep thinking to myself, it could have been 5 pounds if you had just gone to the gym. Maybe tonight after work I'll just fill my trunk with several gym outfits so then I have no excuse as to why I'm not going.

Just Like Barbie

2009-06-08T21:21:00.000-07:00

I'm going to add my two cents to Chelsea's blog. When I was younger I used to picture my clothes and how they would look on Barbie. If I thought they looked good (and they always did), then I would wear that outfit that day. I seriously still do that sometimes.

Misperception

2009-06-02T13:55:00.000-07:00

I look at pictures other people have taken and think, "really? is that what I really look like?"

I struggle with my appearance. I feel like a skinny girl. I act like a skinny girl {but thank goodness I don't dress like one! That would be gross}.

It's kind of like people who have anorexia nervosa who have distorted body image. They think they're more fat than they are. What's the opposite of that? Cuz that's what I have. I think I'm skinnier than I am.

I'd gladly trade for anorexia.

Seriously.

Machine Thief

2009-05-22T11:07:00.000-07:00

Okay, I know machines at the gym aren't really claim-able, but I claimed mine. I claimed mine and someone took it yesterday.

ARGH!

I patiently waited. I used the leg press. Then I used two different arm-muscle-enhancing machines. I even took time to fill my water bottle.

Still occupied.

So I resigned myself to *my* bike. ahhh...nope. Not cutting it.

After 10 minutes on the bike I glanced over and he was still lackadaisically traipsing along. I think he was texting on his iPhone.

So I didn't get in my *good* workout, thanks to you, Mr. Lackadaisical-Machine-Thief.

Results!

2009-05-18T08:33:00.000-07:00

I used to weigh myself every day. Twice a day, in fact. Once in the morning and once at night to see how much damage or progress I'd had during the day. I was very obsessed.

Fast forward 3.5 years to present. I rarely step on the scale for fear of the number that's blinking back at me. But since I'm halfway through a weight-loss contest, I figure it's time to reacquaint myself with Mr. Scale {yes, it has a gender and it's male--for obvious reasons}.

I was actually pleased with my weigh-in 5 minutes ago. I'm down another 4 lbs! Which, not saying much considering it went up a bit, but still...hurrah!

This calls for a celebration: I'm going to the gym for a lunchtime workout. :) I hopefully can keep it coming!

Hello Mr. Elliptical. Yes, I'll Walk All Over You.

2009-05-12T21:10:00.000-07:00

I have a love/hate relationship with ellipticals. I'm not selective in the loving or hating and it's not restricted to one machine or another. It's all of them.

At my most fit, I would chug through a 40-min feat of physical fitness-ness and knock out 5 miles. How in the world I did that, I do not know. Today I did 20 minutes and two things I noticed: 1) I thought I was going to die 2) I only went 1.18 miles. stop laughing, this is serious. dead serious. cuz if I went another 20 I preobably WOULD really be dead.

I like monitoring my progress throughout my workout by my heartrate. If I am doing well it will take a few minutes (5) to get to 150ish. If I'm working out and REALLY working out I like to keep it around 165. Now, most people will say that's too high, but I know my limits and that's not too high. Plus, let's be real, people - the machines attached to exercise equipment just aren't that accurate. So I might think I used to do 5 miles in 40 minutes, but in all reality it was probably closer to 4 miles.

The key is consistency. Pick a machine you like for each exercise (elliptical, treadmill, bike) and stick to it. If you're consistently reaching your goals on the same machines it's not as subjective as machine hopping (you know who you are you exercise sluts!) and you'll find your results are much more reliable.

So after today's workout I was dying of thirst. I ran to the $ store to get a new iPod cover and picked up a drink. And then I ran through the taco bell drive thru.

Also - meet Tara. She didn't want to litter the blogosphere with another fat-loss blog so she's littering mine. :)

Hey-O

2009-05-06T22:40:00.001-07:00

Greetings to practically no one!

Chelsea was kind enough to let me post to her blog cause I'm on a whole "go to the gym, get a hot body kick" as well. I remember going to the gym in Provo and seeing the bigger girls and thinking "aww, good for you, you're trying" I'm totally that girl! Right now I weigh 220, give or take 5 lbs, probably give because of the moving and stress and fast food lately.
Anyways, tonight was the first time I've been to the gym in months. I forgot how much I hated it and how proud of myself I felt afterward. The gyms in Vegas are a-w-e-s-o-m-e. They have this women's workout area with weight machines and tvs on almost every cardio machine. Tonight I cross country skiied to American Idol. I could have kept going physically except my toes had been numb for about 20 minutes. People say it's my shoes but I've bought like 5 pairs and all with the same result.

To get back on topic- I want to get back down to the weight I was before I moved to Utah (180) in 4 months. If I average 10 pounds a month, I can. If The Biggest Loser People can lose that much in one week, I can do it in a month! Wish me luck!

Saturday Morning

2009-05-02T08:42:00.000-07:00

I haven't made it to the gym yet this morning. This week I've only done 20 min of cardio each time I've been. I can't seem to bring myself to lift w/o the aid of music, and since I'm still without an ipod, hasn't been happening.

I just bought a used ipod on ebay and spent almost as much as a new 8gb one would have cost (the new 8gb nanos are $149 and I spent $108, after shipping) but I REALLY really wanted the exact same one I had.

So I got a 3rd Generation Red Nano. Curse me for losing it the first time at the stupid gym. And double curse to the dishonest person who didn't turn it into lost and found.

Ryan and I are heading to the gym today (in about 15 min, or as soon as he's done mowing the lawn, whichever comes soonest). It will be the third visit this week (yay) and I feel a little bad about all the popcorn and soda consumed at last night's movie (cute movie - think it was meant for original release around Christmas, though). With James and Rinda's wedding this month I really want to find a cute dress/outfit and I haven't had much luck at this point. Maybe if I drop a size (ha!) I will have more?

So, maybe I'll step it up and not just ride a stationary bike for 20 min today. Maybe I'll warm up a bit to the treadmill or the elliptical.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Finally, some results

2009-04-24T12:24:00.000-07:00

At last night's weigh-in I was quite nervous. I haven't had much success lately, both with changing my eating habits and giving it a great effort at the gym.

To my surprise, I had lost 5 lbs. HOORAY! An even bigger surprise because my scale indicated I had lost nothing, in fact, gained 1 or 2. My scale is very fickle, though. Stepping on it 3 times will yield 3 different results.

Not really great for the ole morale.

To top it all off, I am pretty sure I left my iPod in the bike or the treadmill last night. I realized it was missing this morning when I went to update it and it wasn't in my gym bag. I haven't kept it anywhere else except my bag. Darn Thursday night tv. Had nothing good been on I would have listened to my iPod instead. And darn my ridiculous memory. I am very forgetful lately and it frustrates me so much.

I really really really hope some honest and kind person turns it in to Lost and Found. sigh...It's like losing my arm.

Personal Trainer Session Numero Uno

2009-03-30T21:26:00.000-07:00

Erin and I worked out tonight with a personal trainer. Well, worked out isn't really the word. Basically she showed us how to do a bunch of stuff and told us how much to do.

Sad thing is, I only did ten sit down squats and my quads are hurting. They were burning by #10.

Good thing - I know how to use 4 more machines at the gym. I thought I knew how to use all of them but I didn't. So, good use of $10 and 45 minutes. Yup! A personal trainer for the hour was only $10 (well, $20 but she lets 2 people split). I love steep discounts!

Tomorrow I'll be up and at'em early early....to put that $10 to BETTER use.

Dedication

2009-03-27T21:16:00.000-07:00

What does it mean, really?

I think to my Body it means it has to roll out of bed early in the morning and get dressed in a sweatin-to-the-oldies outfit and be out of breath in 10 minutes. If that's not what it means, me and said Body have some chatting to do.

Get with the program, Body. Or. Else.

I'm tired and I'm sore

2009-03-17T12:51:00.000-07:00

On Sunday I was starting to feel it but on Monday I could barely move my arms above my head - pretty pathetic. I considered asking Ryan to come shampoo my hair for me because my arms weren't making it above my shoulders.

Sunday afternoon and night were spent sick - stuffy head, feeling hazy, you know the drill.

So Monday morning's workout session was post-poned until today.

I really didn't want to get out of bed this morning.

But I did.

Of course I did. Because I made a committment and I have to fulfill.

I wasn't at the gym wholeheartedly. Hopefully tomorrow I will be.

{completely unrelated - but I'm listening to this girl from my office --during a meeting-- and she drives me crazy! one of those self-righteous/i-know-everything kind of people}

7am on a Saturday

2009-03-14T06:18:00.000-07:00

It really doesn't sound like a good idea to be up at that time, no? At least not voluntarily.

{If you ask Ryan, it wasn't voluntarily}

But we slacked yesterday and didn't get our Monday-Wednesday-Friday workout in. I'm actually glad for, though. We tend to sleep in on Saturdays until 10 or 11ish and then we stay up til 1 or2am and gripe about getting up for church. church isn't until 11. boohoo us, right?

wrong.

It feels good. Like we're actually in this together.

What really sucks is that I feel like I have to work twice as hard to see even close to the results. I was pumping on the stationary bike SO hard I thought I was going to pop a kneecap or something and I still burned less calories than Ryan {well, then again, that's according to a machine}, and didn't 'ride' as far. At least I got my heartrate up to where I wanted it to be.

All I have to say is {yes, there's more} I'm glad I'm somewhat competitive. I'd see his RPMs and bump mine up to 10 more. I'd see his distance creep past mine and I'd ride harder.

In the end, we'll both win.

GAH!

2009-03-11T07:33:00.003-07:00

They have Tanning BEDS! AHH I LOVE tanning beds. I really hope those are free-to-use, too.

Day 2

2009-03-11T06:23:00.000-07:00

I think this morning went much better than Monday. On Monday we came home and were so exhausted that we went back to sleep for a few hours. Today I'm ready for work and hopefully can make up for yesterday's power outage.

I started with weights this time and then did cardio. I only did upper body - mostly tricep machines but a few chest, too. I'm going to be really sore tomorrow, I can feel it already. I really like having Ryan there, too. It makes going to the gym not such a lonely journey. I need him by my side, even if he's not by my side. Just a good way to be.

And So It Begins {again}

2009-03-09T13:34:00.000-07:00

Ryan and I joined Leaner Lawrence.

Facts: 6-month program to lose as much weight in a healthy way through correct eating habits and exercise as possible.
Winner gets $500 and a free year-long gym membership.

Cost to us: $0 - Rick Sells, owner of Lawrence Athletic Club, is footing the bill. Not only for us but for 111 other skinny souls in fat bodies.

Okay, I don't know if the other people have skinny souls. They really might have fat souls. I think mine is on the chubby side.

We woke up for our first workout this morning at 6:30am and were there around 7am. Dave met us there and we did a 20 minute cardio warmup and then lifted some weights for awhile. I felt really out of shape and practice. At least I knew how to use the machines. There were fewer cars in the morning than there seem to be at night, so morning it is.

I don't have the right workout clothes anymore, either. I smelled like spaghettios by the time we left. I think from the combination of sweat and cotton pajama pants. And I need real underwears, too. That or I'm going commando - which may not be that terrible of an idea. Okay, maybe it is.

As soon as Ryan gets home tonight I think I want to head to walmart and get some new socks, underwear and bottoms to wear. And maybe even a few new gym t-shirts.

The journey will be long and fat, but I'll keep you up-to-date on the skinny as I try to get into better shape. Woe is me.

Okay, out with the Alli, in with the Slimslow

2007-09-21T11:30:00.000-07:00

It's not slimfast. Someone should petition the name. I hopped on the postal scale at my office the other day and my weight with clothing was what it was a month ago nekkid. So that's good news at least. a few pounds down.

We recently had family pictures from my friend Liz at Dilly Dally Art and I saw the results and I really really really am pissed at myself for two things: 1) looking like shit in the picture (i think i needed a diff hair style that morning...curse me for getting up early and going to the gym and thus not having ample time) and 2) how the hell did I let myself get like this!!! After 4 yrs of losing 120 lbs and a good solid year of keeping it off. It's really depressing, yet at the same time, I've never wanted to workout more in my life.

So I get to the gym, workout really hard and sweat up a storm and look at the timer on the Elliptical....it's been 10 minutes. That WONT do. But this is my lunch hour, mind you, which means i have an hour to drive to the gym, change, workout, quickly shower (forgot my towel, had to use my sweaty shirt I just took off for my hair) and get back to work...in an hour. I did another 10 min at full speed on the stationary bike and only got 2 miles down. I have a long way to go. I can't believe I used to go 5 miles in 40 min on the elliptical. I. MUST. GET. BACK.

So Alli is no longer my friend. I stopped taking it after a good week because I really don't want to have any babies with weird birth defects because mommy wanted to be skinny. So until I'm either back on the Pill or some other form of BC, it's not gonna happen.

Not really the best entry, esp. after a month of none, but I'll update this more often.

I suck!

2007-08-19T20:06:00.000-07:00

I stopped my whole slimfast thing because, let's face it, my office eats too many sweets and our traditional Friday lunch got in the way :( dang it. Oh, that, and I found I ate WAY too much at night. For some reason I started thinking of it as my "free" time and overindulged. CRAP.

So, now I'm trying Alli. Two concerns for this, and the reasons why it may not last long. First, Ryan and I aren't 'trying' to get pregnant, but we're not preventing a family either, and I really don't want to have any problems. The warnings say not to use if you're pregnant...but doesn't mention 'or may become pregnant' so....yeah. Reason two is because it says that if you don't have a gall bladder to consult my physician because my body might have absorption problems anyways...which I can attest is true.

So...that leaves working out. I really need to get a schedule. I'm hesitant for lack of energy and because I feel like an idiot...totally irrational, but I do. I'm going to try to get up early tomorrow morning and go. I really want to lose 50 lbs before we start a fam damily and that means I need to start that feat, um, yesterday.

augh. mandi is doing SO much better than I am!

3 Day Slimdown Report

2007-08-02T09:23:00.000-07:00

whola. So after my post the other day about stepping on the scale, I started my slimfast diet (okay, well, not 'diet' per se, because I'm going to probably be drinking these for the rest of my non-childbearing years) and already I've seen results.

Day 1 - 1 can for breakfast and 2 liters of water and 1 diet pepsi before 11:30 am. I think I peed 5 times in that same timeframe as well. Drank another can for lunch, but this time it'd been in the freezer here at work for a good 3 hours and was nice and frothy. Yum. The Costco brand is THE best. Probably downed a good 2 more liters of water and a diet coke (i have no loyalties to brands) before going home.

Dinner I overdid it. I had a frozen banana with chocolate and nuts and a leftover chicken crescent for dinner. Then I went to the gym and lifted weights for 40 minutes and did about 13 min of cardio (totally lame that I only did 13 min, i know).

Day 2 - craving something to chew, but continuing the slimfast routine for breakfast. Husband came and tempted me and wanted to go to lunch and i resisted! I can't take that kind of temptation on day-freakin-two. Made a delicious oriental chicken salad the night before and ate almost all of it...but it was sooo good...i felt sick after eating so much though. didn't work out...

Day 3 - slimfast for breakfast, lunch, dinner not until 9:15pm (10 hours later!!) at Wendy's with Tara after helping her move some stuff into storage. I sooo wanted fries, but instead chose a healthy side of yogurt and granola (yes, i know that granola is loaded with sugar...mmm...sugar) and a chicken salad frescata.

That's about it. I'm down about 6 lbs. Hooray. Very encouraging to keep going.

Fatty out, y'all

The scale, the scale, BEWARE the scale

2007-07-31T09:51:00.000-07:00

In this case, it freaked me out. First time in MONTHS I stepped on the thing (granted, I was fully dressed, hadn't pooped, and just drank a glass of water) and it screamed back at me with a number I haven't seen in FIVE YEARS. Holy moley shitty wake up call.

No more 'casual' dieting. Time to lose 50 lbs. STAT.

Slimfast for breakfast, slimfast for lunch, and a sensible dinner. and 4 liters of water during the day to fill me up (add 10 pee breaks to that list too)

I'm on day 2 of slimfast fast. only 7 more to go before my body adjusts.

Life sucks. Fat life sucks. someone suck the fat off my life. please?

Certain Things that MUST Be Taken to the Gym

2007-07-23T18:43:00.000-07:00

1. Headphones - hopefully your gym has the awesome cardio system that hooks up to the tv's they have on every channel possible except the ones any normal person would watch.

2. iPod - to go with headphones. If your gym doesn't have the cardio system, this would be a necessity to have. If you don't bring this and the gym is sans tv system, headphones would look silly.

3. Sweat Towel - who wants to use the paper towels from the dispenser? It's bad enough your face is red as a cherry and drenched in sweat, but to use a crispy, soft as sandpaper towel to wipe said sweat? no thank you, gym-devil. no thank you.

4. Reading Material - This might be THE most important. Why? your headphones might break and your battery on your iPod may die--even though you charged it this afternoon and it said 'charged' all the way and lasted only 30 measly minutes--before you're finished doing your first cardio machine. This is a travesty.

With these powers combined, you can last, not 20....not 25, nay, THIRTY-FIVE minutes at the gym.

I think I'm 8 ounces lighter.

Eating in the buff

2007-07-11T20:40:00.000-07:00

I've decided that if I eat while I'm naked, I'm less likely to eat as much. It's a good thing. Go figure. ha-ha...figure.

The Weight Loss Diary - Entry 1

2007-07-09T10:29:00.000-07:00

How to gain tons of weight:

1) stop exercising - completely: don't go to the gym anymore and don't even think of doing anything that resembles exercise.

2) eat out - a lot!: I don't mean just going out to dinner. I'm talking about fast food and burgers and fries that you've previously decided not to eat.

3) rationalize: I will be skinny later in life, why do I need to worry now?

With these powers combined, you'll get the results as prescribed.

Before and After pictures to follow.